my name is kristy. i live in new york city and do fun comedy things. i am a sketch writer at the upright citizens brigade theatre for the maude team beige. i am also a sketch writer on ucb’s beta team horse + horse. i do not like vowels because they are boring. i am also not that fond of capital letters. you can reach me at kriseli@gmail.com.Tumblr (3.0; @kristylopezbernal)http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/<iframe width="400" height="225" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/MDqHjEXkZww?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://ucbcomedy.tumblr.com/post/49873379005/bathroom-locks">ucbcomedy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Bathroom locks.</p> </blockquote> <p>Peeing in public bathrooms is the <em>worst</em>.</p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/49873438585http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/49873438585Tue, 07 May 2013 15:56:25 -0400<iframe width="400" height="300" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/R3P9uevbI0A?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://beigeucb.tumblr.com/post/49268822001/plane-crash-sex-april-1st-2013">beigeucb</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><strong>“Plane Crash Sex”</strong></p> <p>April 1st, 2013</p> </blockquote> <p>i think i need to promise the rest of beige that i’ll stop making them do sexy things on stage. i promise, guys. really. </p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/49281112421http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/49281112421Tue, 30 Apr 2013 15:45:54 -0400<iframe width="400" height="300" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/-8cpEzl3bW0?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://beigeucb.tumblr.com/post/48126395911/no-more-friends-november-19-2012">beigeucb</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><strong>“No More Friends”</strong></p> <p>November 19, 2012</p> </blockquote> <p>lisa wears my favorite keyboard cat t-shirt in this sketch i wrote for beige!</p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/48623897333http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/48623897333Mon, 22 Apr 2013 13:56:32 -0400<iframe width="400" height="225" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/daTgGhWNYV8?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://wrongcharlie.tumblr.com/post/48048272744">wrongcharlie</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://ucbcomedy.tumblr.com/post/48047496013/your-beef-tenderloin-was-a-foodie-once">ucbcomedy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Your beef tenderloin was a foodie once.</p> </blockquote> <p>New silly video from Horse + Horse!</p> <p>Directed by me, written by animal/food aficionado Kristy Lopez-Bernal & featuring the lovely and soothing vocal talents of Dan Hodapp, Dan Mirk, Lauren Conlin Adams, Avery Monsen, John Timothy, Mike Lane, Brian Glidewell & Karin Hammerberg.</p> <p>Unfortunately the animal footage is all stock. But one day I will give acting directions to a lion! Oh, one day.</p> <p>PS: I love that UCB tagged this video with “cilantro”</p> </blockquote> <p>this was fun to make and you’ll probably find it fun to watch!</p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/48122252642http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/48122252642Tue, 16 Apr 2013 10:51:43 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/6466d3c250b4b23c1424382eb54a7198/tumblr_mlbnuw7yCQ1qcawd5o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://jonbershad.tumblr.com/post/48080962581/fun-with-my-ipad-at-a-writers-meeting">jonbershad</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Fun with my iPad at a writers meeting.</p> </blockquote> <p>aw, one of these is me!</p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/48082802993http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/48082802993Mon, 15 Apr 2013 20:47:19 -0400<iframe width="400" height="300" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/fdhyFUkAU10?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://beigeucb.tumblr.com/post/47546841471/mario-brothers-come-home-march-4th-2013">beigeucb</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><strong>“Mario Brothers Come Home”</strong></p> <p>March 4th, 2013</p> </blockquote> <p>this is what the mario bros are like at home. i went to their house and verified before i wrote this. </p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/47620521087http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/47620521087Wed, 10 Apr 2013 10:17:29 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/92f932cb55bef7358c920c731e6ed980/tumblr_mky6l8colE1qzouwbo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://ucbcomedy.tumblr.com/post/47467500284/in-response-to-our-new-urban-forager-vid-central">ucbcomedy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>In response to our new <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OejmA7mwxOc">Urban Forager</a> vid, Central Park NYC tweets us this.</p> <p>“probably”…</p> </blockquote> <p>you’re welcome, central park. </p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/47468626459http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/47468626459Mon, 08 Apr 2013 14:04:08 -0400<iframe width="400" height="300" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/OejmA7mwxOc?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://horseplushorse.tumblr.com/post/47465595220/latest-h-h-video-hot-off-the-presses-the-urban">horseplushorse</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Latest H+H video hot off the presses!</p> <p><strong><span>The Urban Forger</span></strong></p> <p><em><span class="watch-title yt-uix-expander-head" title="Netflix Knows What You Like"><span>Warning: Eat nature with caution.</span></span></em></p> <p><a href="http://horseplushorse.tumblr.com/post/47465595220/latest-h-h-video-hot-off-the-presses-the-urban">Read More</a></p> </blockquote> <p>a weird thing that i wrote. don’t eat nature, you silly urban foragers. </p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/47468373597http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/47468373597Mon, 08 Apr 2013 13:59:43 -0400<iframe width="400" height="299" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/dS_d-QD1dOo?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p>i want to be in a warm rainbow cocoon listening to this song all the time. </p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/47212564679http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/47212564679Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:03:18 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/ab8f8e219ec650c7491e342556884764/tumblr_mgtzbgKwkd1r4zr2vo1_r3_500.gif"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://wnycradiolab.tumblr.com/post/45200929013/headlikeanorange-a-white-necked-rockfowl">wnycradiolab</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://headlikeanorange.tumblr.com/post/40871870149">headlikeanorange</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>A white-necked rockfowl (Africa - BBC)</p> </blockquote> <p>Hi!</p> <p>.</p> <p>.</p> <p>.</p> <p>OK, bye!</p> </blockquote> <p>i’m just going to watch this all day instead of doing work. okay? cool. </p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/45202451035http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/45202451035Tue, 12 Mar 2013 14:43:43 -0400<iframe width="400" height="225" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/tLHmXRlMvy8?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://beigeucb.tumblr.com/post/45113895535/i-love-your-teeth-october-15th-2012">beigeucb</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><strong>“I Love Your Teeth”</strong></p> <p>October 15th, 2012</p> </blockquote> <p>get ready, because you’re about to get really uncomfortable with this one. </p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/45114599129http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/45114599129Mon, 11 Mar 2013 12:16:13 -0400<iframe width="400" height="225" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/jzUHcHH1ONY?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://beigeucb.tumblr.com/post/44788936659/sex-talk-february-4th-2013">beigeucb</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><strong>“Sex Talk”</strong></p> <p>February 4th, 2013</p> </blockquote> <p>you’re going to blush really hard when you watch this thing that i wrote for our february show. love watching langan, kelly, lisa, and jon in this. </p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/44800358247http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/44800358247Thu, 07 Mar 2013 15:03:44 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/22a1574749f9b191f4788da5b93bca0a/tumblr_miu6nxPV7O1qzucxzo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://jonbershad.tumblr.com/post/44068461493/davebluvband-im-very-lucky-that-i-get-to-make">jonbershad</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://davebluvband.tumblr.com/post/44068180397">davebluvband</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>I’m very lucky that I get to make videos with these people.</p> <p>I love Horse+Horse.</p> </blockquote> <p>Wait. I know for a fact that Kristy wasn’t at the Bettie awards. There’s some trickery going on here. DON’T TRUST THIS BETA TEAM.</p> </blockquote> <p>I AM OMNIPRESENT!!!</p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/44076491585http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/44076491585Tue, 26 Feb 2013 14:22:39 -0500<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/ffecace3e899aa7713d4c446fb0d1dec/tumblr_miorhwhyT41qcawd5o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://jonbershad.tumblr.com/post/43819358668/inside-the-mystery-machine-photo-taken-while">jonbershad</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Inside the Mystery Machine.</p> <p>(photo taken while Dan was in the process of shape shifting)</p> </blockquote> <p>i’m super psyched about this van ride, as you can see. </p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/43984804650http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/43984804650Mon, 25 Feb 2013 10:07:36 -0500<p><img src="http://media.tumblr.com/fb279f1bf51dfced16c89a77314462cb/tumblr_inline_mgzaxqRp5U1r5n2ju.png"/></p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/41101472651http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/41101472651Mon, 21 Jan 2013 09:01:21 -0500<iframe width="400" height="300" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/yutlbzezp6c?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://beigeucb.tumblr.com/post/40773802850/our-best-of-show-is-only-a-few-days-away-until">beigeucb</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><em>Our <a href="http://beigeucb.tumblr.com/post/40561922498/its-been-a-wild-and-crazy-year-for-beige-weve">Best Of show </a>is only a few days away! Until then, check out videos of our most recent show from January 7th! Remember to subscribe to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/BeigeComedy">our YouTube page</a>!</em></p> <p><strong>“Mom Flips Out”</strong></p> <p>January 7th, 2013</p> </blockquote> <p>WATCH IT NOW.</p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/41101290174http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/41101290174Mon, 21 Jan 2013 08:57:08 -0500<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/f170f1e770c515d90c507da15970143b/tumblr_mgbhq5i2CX1r9abmzo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://beigeucb.tumblr.com/post/40020782417/fun-show-last-night-yay-everyone-except-for">beigeucb</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Fun show last night! Yay, everyone (except for Avery who wasn’t around when we took this picture so we don’t like him anymore)!</p> </blockquote> <p>love these guys. </p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/40095306817http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/40095306817Wed, 09 Jan 2013 10:04:05 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/df91d446cd09f7fa6215d49eefd3b053/tumblr_mg0jhq8QmF1rpg0v1o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>i <em>finally</em> went to the mass moca this weekend. i’ve been trying to go for about 10 years. it was glorious, much like the beautiful sky in this picture.</p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/39491767163http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/39491767163Wed, 02 Jan 2013 14:29:49 -0500<iframe width="400" height="300" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/3lBVFcFYzZw?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://jonbershad.tumblr.com/post/38304566420/beigeucb-whats-it-like-to-live-down-the-street">jonbershad</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://beigeucb.tumblr.com/post/38304365819/whats-it-like-to-live-down-the-street-from-kevin">beigeucb</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>What’s it like to live down the street from Kevin McCallister?</p> <p>Happy holidays! Please enjoy Beige’s brand new video sketch!</p> </blockquote> <p>I really like this one. It’s very silly. Please check it out!</p> </blockquote> <p>check out this video that we made! it was so much fun to film.</p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/38338970720http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/38338970720Wed, 19 Dec 2012 18:43:26 -0500<iframe width="400" height="300" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/seOM6Fgb5Lw?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://beigeucb.tumblr.com/post/38000549492/exit-row-july-30th-2012">beigeucb</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><strong>“Exit Row”</strong></p> <p><span>July 30th, 2012</span></p> </blockquote> <p>woohoo. i wrote this!</p>http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/38080954956http://kristylopezbernal.tumblr.com/post/38080954956Sun, 16 Dec 2012 14:10:35 -0500